Let’s talk about Gays (seriously this time)

Gay? Eveything ok!
Gay? Eveything ok!

«Chronically gay? California doctor diagnoses gay man’s  ‘homosexual behavior’ as chronic illness». This is the title of an article I read some days ago through the internet.

Moreover, during the last days I read many articles about the new Russian Law against LGBT (lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transsexuals). This Law is about to be applied using as an excuse the winter Olympic Games in city Sochi. Regarding this Law every “gay behavior” is forbidden during Olympic Games and both athletes and visitors should respect this Law. People that would decide to go against this Law would be arrested and it is possible to stay in prison for 14 days.

And now my question: When people would be serious regarding the Gay subject? And more specifically: Is it still all right if in the year 2013, some people still wonder whether homosexuals should have the same rights with heterosexuals? Additionally, some people have still the unbelievable opinion that: “The only normal sexual relationships are these between men and women”. Really?  So, we should say the story AGAIN from the beginning… Let’s go really back in time….

Homosexuality is something so old and so normal as heterosexuality. Everybody knows for example that in Ancient Greece if you had a male or a female lover, was exactly the same. No man that had male lovers wasn’t considered as “sick” or “non normal” and every woman who was expressing her interest for another woman was not considered as somebody far from her real natural sexuality. Sexual freedom was also applied during Roman years and in every developed society of these years.

So, how humans ended up having so negative emotions regarding homosexuality when in the past it was such a common and natural phenomenon? Oh yes, here we should open a parenthesis: Into the last 2000 years a main ideology spread accross the northwest area of this planet. This ideology became a religion afterward and then wanted to change peoples’ lives. Yes, I am speaking about Christianity. And no, it is not necessary to be an atheist, Buddhist or idolater  to understand what happened since Christianity dominated the west world. Nowadays, many authors admit that Christianity changed every domain of our everyday life: way of living, way of thinking and believing in something and of course sexual life of many people and the way that is expressed. Representatives of Christianity, especially in the past, had a clearly hostile stance regarding anything Ancient Greek and they were cursing every ideology that had to do with these “years of sin». So, one of the things that Christianity tried to “create” from the beginning and to control it, in general, was sexuality and sexual expression. Rules were settled, threats and stories about Hell and Heaven began and every human instinct was being considered as sin and “demonic”. Many strict rules regarding sexual intercourse were forced as laws or ethics, as sex always remains the strongest human instinct. No sex before marriage, no cheating, no masturbation, no homosexuality, no prostitutes and so on and so on.  Every sexual behavior that did not have as a main goal to give birth more children was considered as a sin as well and was forbidden from Church and many times even from the state.

2000 years later and things are not really better. Yes, sex before marriage is acceptable in many countries (but not in every country of this planet) and if you cheat your mate you will not go in prison. These are important but really small steps for humans. We know what happens around and most important inside us. Then, why we still refuse to see the truth in general? Is it really possible for every human being to be a submissive, scared animal, unable to live a free life because they will think that opinions of other people are the most important thing in the world? Of course not! That’s why LGBT will always exist! Always. They were here from the beginning and they will continue to exist – Thanks God! Imagine a world with only heterosexual, deeply religious family people. This could be unbelievably boring! Moreover, we should wonder if all these pushed aside social teams were not existing, then who would be the scapegoat for the always angry and fool heterosexuals or even hiding homosexuals?

I know what I might hear again and again about this. That heterosexuals don’t bother homosexuals when homosexuals remain good and don’t piss off heterosexuals. All right. So, homosexuals are the responsible ones, who should always behave in an appropriate way, right? Homosexuals should always be decent in public conversations. And what heterosexuals have done to help with it? Heterosexuals created all these theories/myths/stories about sexually different people as they always wanted to prove how bad is to be a non heterosexual person. This is a good reason for homosexuals to be pissed, isn’t it? And because I want to be more specific about that, let’s analyze one by one some of the most popular theories/beliefs that heterosexuals invented for homosexuals and let’s see how right those can be.

Theory number 1: “Homosexuality is a disease”.

I don’t know exactly what people meant back in ‘70s when they were saying that. Maybe they were thinking that you can “catch” homosexuality from somebody or somewhere (like a flu) and you can easily get rid of this illness if you go to a doctor and take some good medicines. Unfortunately, in ‘80s all deeply conservative people had a big chance to make homosexuals look like criminals because of the spreading ofHIV virus. For many years AIDS was a “gay disease” and after a long time first scientists and then all the others figured out that anybody could be infected with AIDS no matter what was their sexual orientation.

Moreover, in the past, there were many people who didn’t consider homosexuality as a physical but as a mental disease. And they were not uneducated people. Scientists of Mental Health and more specifically the American Psychiatric Association (APA) only in 1973 removed homosexuality from the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ) list and considered it as a normal sexual behavior. Until then homosexuals were considered as mental ill individuals and they were receiving psychiatric and psycho-therapeutic care in order to become heterosexuals. Fortunately, this stance was officially stopped in 1973, so if some irrational health professionals wanted to continue claiming that “gays are sick” and “they need medical help”, they were free to do that but without any scientific elements to prove their allegations. In the end, psycho-pathological spectrum in homosexuality, which could be found some day probably is as broad as this in heterosexuality. That is, homosexuality is “pathological” as heterosexuality.

Even the “Father” of Psychotherapy, Freud, in 1935, wrote a letter to a mother that her son was homosexual and he made clear to her that homosexuality is not a mental disorder. Below is Freud’s whole letter-answer to this woman:

“April 9th 1935


Dear Mrs [Erased],

I gather from your letter that your son is a homosexual. I am most impressed by the fact that you do not mention this term yourself in your information about him. May I question you why you avoid it? Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation; it cannot be classified as an illness; we consider it to be a variation of the sexual function, produced by a certain arrest of sexual development. Many highly respectable individuals of ancient and modern times have been homosexuals, several of the greatest men among them. (Plato, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, etc). It is a great injustice to persecute homosexuality as a crime – and a cruelty, too. If you do not believe me, read the books of Havelock Ellis.

By asking me if I can help, you mean, I suppose, if I can abolish homosexuality and make normal heterosexuality take its place. The answer is, in a general way we cannot promise to achieve it. In a certain number of cases we succeed in developing the blighted germs of heterosexual tendencies, which are present in every homosexual in the majority of cases it is no more possible. It is a question of the quality and the age of the individual. The result of treatment cannot be predicted.

What analysis can do for your son runs on a different line. If he is unhappy, neurotic, torn by conflicts, inhibited in his social life, analysis may bring him harmony, peace of mind, full efficiency, whether he remains a homosexual or gets changed. If you make up your mind he should have analysis with me — I don’t expect you will — he has to come over to Vienna. I have no intention of leaving here. However, don’t neglect to give me your answer.

Sincerely yours with best wishes,


P.s. I did not find it difficult to read your handwriting. Hope you will not find my writing and my English a harder task”.


Theory Number 2: “Homosexuality has to do with the environment”

Honestly nobody can be sure about that. During the past years, many scientists were claiming that homosexuality exists due to both genetic and environmental reasons (like every human behavior). There were many studies regarding this theory but there is nothing sure and reliable about that. The truth is that environment cannot influence whole sexual lives of humans but only parts of them. Typical example is the fact that many homosexuals are born in heterosexual families and many heterosexuals were born or raised from homosexual parents. If environment plays such an important role in everything in our lives then it should be decisive for every kid’s sexual identity. Possibilities that homosexuality is based on environmental factors could be many but also they could be not. There are some similarities and differences in homosexuals’ lives that prevent us to put some specific rules.


Theory Number 3: “Homosexuality is based on a specific gene”

Yes, like heterosexuality, right? So, many years ago we searched and found the gene of heterosexuality and nowadays we are looking for the gene of homosexuality. And then, are we going to know the whole Truth?

When we say that “homosexuality has to do with biological factors” that does not mean that we try to find a “problematic” gene that should be destroyed in order the whole humanity to be saved. Scientists have conducted many studies researching anatomical differences between brains of homosexuals and heterosexuals as also have checked chromosomes. Moreover, families and twin siblings have participated in several studies to be found how much related could be zygote or a mother’s womb to homosexuality. There are some interesting results but nothing absolutely clear and sure. And that’s because, as many scientists claim, homosexuality cannot be based only on one specific gene but on more. That is why if there was a “gene of homosexuality”, it would be identified until now, as genes that are transmitted by people can easily be found. Additionally, if there was only one defective gene of homosexuality, during the centuries it should have been eliminated from human kind because it doesn’t favor reproductive process. If homosexuals are still here, after millions of years, there is certainly a reason.

Theory Number 4: “Homosexual sex does not favor acquisition of children”

Guess what: even heterosexual sex does not favor acquisition of children, if two lovers do not want it. If homosexual sex is considered as abnormal because homosexuals cannot have babies together, then let’s just think that homosexuals can adopt or have biological children by using a surrogate mother (men) and sperm donor (women). And right now I know exactly what are the “unfair” thoughts about that: “Homosexuals cannot have children between them. They always need a third person to have biological children. This is not normal for human beings, as heterosexuals don’t do that”. Seriously? But, there are millions of heterosexual couples in this planet that use artificial methods to acquire their own children, simply because they cannot have biological children in a natural way. I cannot understand why any heterosexual housewife can get her own child by using artificial methods or a surrogate mother but the same thing seems just impossible for two gay men or women. It is the same, isn’t it? Or maybe, it seems accepted from all of us, because it is so in fashion every Hollywood star to have kids by paying other women giving birth for them. But with homosexuals is always something different, right? No, it is not different at all!

And I know that there are more people who will go further by saying that it is OK if a gay couple wants to have a kid by using a scientific method, but homosexuals are still “problematic” because they don’t have sex for reproductive reasons, but only for pleasure. Sorry guys, but I have bad news! Heterosexuals do exactly the same and I am so impressed because they don’t figure it out. I will never forget a conversation that I had with one of my colleagues who was strongly claiming that: “I am a heterosexual man, so I have sex because I want subconsciously to make her pregnant. Even if I don’t want to do it, subconsciously that is my instinct”. I remember myself laughing loudly in the bar we were and then I asked him to think twice what he was saying. My answer was really simple: “Do you really believe that heterosexuals subconsciously act in this way? Do you say that when heterosexuals have sex are because their goal is to have kids and homosexuals just don’t do that? If you believe that, just stop asking oral or anal sex from your girlfriend because there are two types of sex that consciously or subconsciously they cannot provide any kids to heterosexual couples – exactly as the homosexual sex can’t! Also don’t ask from your girlfriend to use contraceptive methods (in this way you prevent the natural fertilization of her ova) and swear that if your girlfriend gets ever pregnant, you will ask her to give birth to this baby. It doesn’t matter if you want to be a father right now or not. As you said- you already subconsciously desire to be a father, so let it be. Only in this way your theory could be “believed”. You can imagine that after my answer he didn’t have any other arguments and our discussion was over.

Really, let’s finish with this theory: everybody in this world wants to have sex for the immediate reason/goal: pleasure. If there wasn’t pleasure probably nobody would ever want to have sex and obviously population of this planet wouldn’t be more than 6 billions of people. We are so many people because human beings want like crazy to have sex, not babies (at least not before some age). Reproduction is the indirect, secondary reason/goal for somebody to have sex and never the completely direct one (except if we have to do with a desperate woman who believes that she can stop her husband from leaving or cheating her with his secretary, if she just give birth to a child). The fact that homosexuals cannot have children with sex does not mean that they should stop sex at all! Because if we insist in that, then we should also ask from heterosexual couples who decided not having children during their marriage, to stop having sex immediately (really, who believes that it will work?). Similarly, men should stop having sex with women and should start visiting sperm banks 3 times per week to fulfill their natural goal: to be sperm donors and to save human kind of disappearing!

Theory Number 5: “Homosexuality does not exist in nature, only in human kind, that is why it is a human abnormality”

Yes, unfortunately, I have also heard that and from well –educated people (and I say that because somebody with good general knowledge and education should have stopped believing these kinds of things). Really I don’t know what to answer to that. Sometimes I just don’t know how to react with the lack of basic knowledge of some people. And because there is no point to explain the whole “homosexuality in animals” subject (I need 10 pages only for this) I suggest all of you to watch the amazing documentaries that many reliable channels have (i.e. National Geographic, Animal Planet). In these documentaries it is explained in a really analytical way how natural is homosexuality in monkeys, or even in fish.

And if you want a specific suggestion, there you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFeXwKnCUNI


Theory Number 6: “Homosexuals are born homosexuals and they will die homosexuals and heterosexuals are born heterosexuals and they will die heterosexuals”.

This conviction has been challenged since many decades ago. The first and the most important expert that challenged it was the world famous sexologist Kinsey who in 1973 conducted an important study regarding sexuality of American citizens. The fact that impressed and alarmed Americans was that 37% of men claimed that they had one (or more) homosexual experience, which ended up to orgasm or not, since they were teenagers (50% of men spoke about a homosexual experience or just a sexual stimulation). Kinsey’s data also showed that regarding homosexuality women had lower rates from men. For example only the 28% of women said something about a homosexual experience or a sexual stimulation with another woman during their lives and only the 13% of them had an orgasm.

Kinsey’s data shocked conservative America in ‘70s because the truth was not hidden anymore: people of every age, caste and marital status were speaking about their homosexual behavior which was simultaneously existing with their heterosexual sexual life. There were many individuals who had not considered themselves as homosexuals but however they had a homosexual experience (or more) to tell. But why and how is this possible? Heterosexuals have only heterosexual experiences and homosexuals have only homosexual experiences, right? Probably is yes and no at the same time. The answer to this question came again from Kinsey who spoke about the sexuality scale (The Kinsey Scale). Kinsey just wanted to avoid separation of heterosexuals, homosexuals and bisexuals. His goal was to calculate how much heterosexual and homosexual is somebody at the same time (as he believed that there is not a pure homosexuality or a heterosexuality in human beings). The scale was never “constructed” and applied from Kinsey but later many others from Kinsey’s field wanted to see the Scale used (If somebody wants to make this test, you can find here (http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest/) a very good application of The Kinsey Scale.

After Kinsey, many other experts tried to answer why homosexuality (and heterosexuality) cannot be exactly defined. Greek psychiatrist Nikos Manou (1997) said about that: “It is a problem to define what is homosexuality because a big amount of homosexuals are unknown since they are afraid to admit their homosexuality due to social pressure and discrimination that they receive in order to keep their homosexuality a secret”. Additionally Manou claims: “There are many differences between homosexuals regarding their personality, life style and sexual experience. That is why homosexuality is really difficult to be defined. Because where will people  who had both heterosexual and homosexual sexual experience or people with both kinds of sexual fantasies or individuals who suddenly in their middle age changed their sexual orientation, be classified?”


Instead of an epilogue: The subject of homosexuality and also sexuality in general can be analyzed in many-many more pages. That is why I should stop here for now. I want before the end to share with you some parts from my Bachelor thesis whose subject was Homosexuality. Conclusion is yours:

“Is it fair for homosexuals to be considered as individuals with predetermined sexual orientation because of some possible genes?”

“It would be better if we separate anything that has to do with homosexuality from the subject of “reproduction” and we should see seriously if what we think as the “only normal” thing maybe is not the only normal or maybe we should think if inside the term “normal” many different things can be included. Is it possible homosexuality to be an absolutely normal thing that we just cannot think correctly about that?”

“The act of not accepting homosexuality based on reproductive reasons is an act of deduction of a really interesting ideology which supports that humans with “similar” gender experience happiness and pleasure from their sexual choices, no matter if they can be reproductive or not. Moreover, we should always remember that except different sexual orientations, there are also real differences between the two genders”.

“Sexuality is one and includes everything, so every aspect of it is associated with all the other aspects. That is why homosexuality should stop be considered as a deviation of sexuality or illness or environmental effect or a symptom of genes. It can be something of all these, one of these or nothing of these”.

“Homosexuality is just similar to everything else related. It is neither identical or completely different from something, that is why it is an ideological “enemy” for many others”.



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