Porn and real life

Porn in our lives
Porn in our lives

Otherwise: 10 + 1 reasons why you will never have sex as a porn star. It is absolutely true and everybody knows it (I hope so). If there are any people that they don’t know it or they don’t understand it, well in this case, they should stop watching porn. So simple.

During the last years more and more information is published about this subject. Is it trendy? Is it popular? Or is it a need of some people to say the truth to “calm” their readers? Everything from the above is possible or not. But the most important thing is that all the writers and the columnists agree in something: porn has almost nothing to do with the sex that somebody does in his/her apartment one Friday night. Even the writers that wrote articles and books with titles like “Make love like a porn-star” or “Make your sexual life a porn movie” have quickly clarified that they just tried to give some ideas and directions for possible refreshment and development of sexual life of erotic couples. They could not promise that miracles will happen and of course, it was not their purpose to make their readers believe that everything that happens in a sex-movie can also happens in real life.

And no, I don’t want to generalize and I don’t want to hide the truth. Erotic cinema obviously shows real images and provides original moments of human sexuality. That is why it exists and that is why it is so successful for centuries. Nobody can pause or stop erotic cinema and there is no point to do that. It is one valuable tool of eroticism, it increases erotic stimulation of viewers and the most important: provides pleasure. Everything that provides pleasure, without harming or serious consequences, it is good to exist as satisfaction of our needs is associated with good function of our instincts.

But what happens when porn-movies, despite of a good erotic tool, becoming a nightmare and an obsession? What happens when they distort our opinions and criteria regarding sex or regarding our appearance, our partner and eventually pleasure itself? Then, maybe erotic cinema should be viewed from a different perspective and it should be analyzed pure rationally in order some misunderstandings to be solved, right?

If somebody cannot imagine how problematic can be the sexual life of some people because of the porn, then I suggest to him/her to watch the episode of the TV-series “Sex and the city” (season 2, episode 6) in which one of the basic protagonists starts a romantic relationship with someone who is really “sick” with porn. In the beginning of the relationship, existence of porn seems funny and adventurous, later becomes annoying and in the end porn destroys the relationship itself, as man’s impression that life can follow a porn movie (and vice versa) is much more stronger, than the real pleasure of the existing relationship.

And after this prologue, it is the time for the list I mentioned before. I will write down eleven reasons why a common person will never have sex – and there is no need for that – like a porn star. Or if you prefer, I will speak about lies of industry of sex that keep existing in almost every porn movie and they made many people believe that porn scenes could happen in real life exactly in the same way or they can be after all the sexual life itself.

Myths about sex made directly from industry of porn

  1. Size of mens’ genitals and womens’ breasts should be huge in order sex to be good: It would be unreasonable if people with different characters/faces/mind/feelings should have erotic zones of the same size or shape. Sex is for everybody and sex is good only if it is based on variety.
  2. If you don’t have sex with an unbelievably beautiful person, then sex is not good: Justification here is basically the same with the previous myth. Plus that it is more and more heard from people with really intense sexual life that their best sexual intercourses were with people of really medium outward appearance. This probably happens because good-looking people that they know that they are attractive would take for granted that they will be flirted, so they do not think that in sex should try for something more than the usual. They allow to somebody to “have” them in a sexual way, so this is enough.
  3. Everybody is willing to have sex any time of the day and in any place: You that you read right now this article, you already know that this is not true. Unless if we have to do with sex-maniacs. Then we need a different kind of help.
  4. Female orgasm is something easy, quick and frequent: Women already know the truth, so it is time for many men to learn about it, too. Female orgasm is not difficult, but it is surely more complicated. Don’t expect that the fact that you are “inside” the woman is enough and can make a woman to have an orgasm. OK, stimulation of vagina is important but studies have shown that only 1 from 10 women can have vaginal orgasm. The rest 9 will reach ecstasies in a different way. What can you do? Just find the magic button of your female partner, also well-known as “button of Paradise” (guess why!) and start touching it softly. Go more quickly only if your partner asks to do it. With a little exercise you will figure out how many “miracles” could happen with this small erotic organ which usually “behaves” as a tiny aroused penis (the only difference is that clitoris has double neurons than penis!).
  5. Everybody is willing to try anything in sex: Similar myth with the third. So many different people, thus so many different tastes and mentalities. It is impossible all the human beings to want the same things regarding sex! This is not even interesting. But if you are from them that always looking for the next best great sex, then better start to ask what your partners accept and can stand.
  6. Time, conversation, right mood, good atmosphere and preliminary actions are not necessary for sex: This is not true even for men (for women is almost impossible). Yes,  sometimes sex can be spontaneous, quick and intense, but these times do not happen often. For good sex we need some good conditions. Accept it and learn to feel pleasure while you are waiting for sex to happen. Waiting makes sex even more greater.
  7. Duration of sex is unlimited: In human beings and in robots. But wait, no. Even robots sometimes can be broken.
  8. Nobody mentions or uses contraceptive methods/condoms even if the sex is with an unknown person: Seriously now, you cannot joke or find excuses about that. Many serious consequences can arise from an impulsive and irrational decision, so just better don’t do it. If you are going to regret it, then just don’t have sex. If somebody cannot understand that, then stay away from him/her. He/she is at least dangerous – and no, free, erotic sex just doesn’t exist. It “died” in 80’s and it is better if it will not be “reborn”, as our world remains the same.
  9. Every position in sex is doable from every person: Similar myth with 3 and 5. No, everybody cannot do anything in sex and this has to do with many factors: body shape, personal taste, mood, mental and erotic situation. In sex it is better if we do not take some things for granted. Besides, the only really exciting sex that I know is that sex when you do not know what to expect (And no, somebody is not a “bad” lover if he/she knows how to say “no” and how to expresses his/her desires clearly).
  10. Erotic partners moan all the time during the sexual intercourse and pleasure always increases: If that was true, then our vocal cords would be broken and our throats would be completely and always “closed”. Don’t you tell me that you don’t remember your hoarse voice after a lot of moaning! Liars!
  11. Sex is always wild, violent and one of the sexual partners is always submissive to the will of the other(s): Except the conscious BDSM sexual relationships in which roles seem to be standard and clear from the beginning, in all the other sexual relationships things are more confused and complicated regarding this topic. Character, gender or even previous sexual experience of a person are not enough elements to categorize somebody in a specific “category” (“passive”, “energetic”, “submissive”, “dominant” etc.). Before an unusual sexual act on somebody, it is better to know if our partner wants and accepts it. Otherwise, it is possible that sex will be finished much more earlier than we expected and we will not have another option but being really far from bed.

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