Breaking up (Should I stay or should I go?)

Together or apart?
Together or apart?

It has already happened or it will happen to almost all of us to be in a relationship and don’t really know if and for how long it is worth to stay. The criteria of a relationship conservation vary from person to person but let’s be honest: There are some objective factors to consider a relationship as “good” or “bad”. If we are real to ourselves and our partners then sooner or later we will feel and figure out what exactly is going on regarding our relationship and then we should make up our minds. We are staying or we are leaving.

After reading a variety of different articles and posts I collected some of the most important factors to stay in your current sexual relationship or to go from it as soon as possible. The more of the below reasons are true to you the more possible is the need to make a decision.

Reasons to stay with someone

-You are still in love. Ok, let’s be honest (again). Falling in love is not something that happens to our lives every day. If you still have intent feelings for your match then the idea of breaking-up could drive you mad or hurt you a lot. This is of course something rational and all of us we should experience the phase of being truly and insanely in love in order to experience the later phase of logic and rationalism. We should admit during the “in love phase” that we are incapable to think at all!

-Feeling safe inside a relationship. One of the most important factors to remain with someone. Tense is good and adrenaline could work sometimes but we should be able to feel calm and sure inside our personal dealings.

-Your partner respects and understands you. It is wonderful if you can feel that your mate perceives what you say or do and equally wonderful is to have some everyday proof that you mean a lot to him/her and he/she wants a lot in his/her life.

-You want to offer to each other. Relationships between two givers are usually warm, tender and quite easy. If your common priority is other person’s needs then it would be difficult to blame each other for selfish behavior.

– Sex is so good. Oh come on now! Sex plays an important and also quit big role in a sexual relationship. Maybe is not everything, maybe we cannot make a relationship to last because of it but even for a while two persons could stay together and be actually happy with the whole thing. Of course in the future people should also try to say something more meaningful to each other from time to time!

-You have many common interests and you have fun together. Excitement for the same things and hobbies and sharing common experiences could help a couple stay together for a long time. Bonus: You will create some of the sweetest memories together!

-You have common beliefs and prescription of life. Common opinions, common thoughts – no matter how somebody acts – could keep a couple together for a life.

Reasons to leave someone

-You receive some kind of abuse (physical, psychological, verbal etc.). I should not write much here. The only thing I want is to beg you to find the courage and the way to go really far away before it’s too late!

-You think that you lost yourself. When you don’t know when your wish starts and when the demand of other’s ends then we have a problem! Yes, decisions regarding relationships are common and yes, we should often take a step back in order to make our relationship last. However, let’s try to keep in our minds that before our current relationship we had dreams, goals and ambitions we should not abandon for a long time in any of our lives’ phases.

You feel non independent and you lack of freedom. Lack of free will drives human instincts get wild and love is poisoned. Lust and happiness of coexistence keeps existing through uncertainty and nonstop claiming of our partners. In addition, the most desirable  partner is always the independent partner!

-You feel bored. It is very difficult for a boring sexual relationship to last. Of course we cannot expect that we will never get bored in any of our relationships. Life is not like movies! Real sexual relationships are full of positive and negative situations and boredom is one of them. That doesn’t mean that the whole relationship is not good. However, if boredom and lack of interest will end up being the basic characteristics of our relationship then we should decidedly and immediately do something!

-Sex is so bad. As I already wrote earlier sex is a really important factor to sexual relationships to ignore it. Bad sex is a sign that something doesn’t go well in our relationship. That “thing” maybe can be fixed and become better, maybe not. If for some reason it cannot be fixed or it was never good then we should think which other factors could make us happy in a relationship.

-You have nothing in common with your partner. Opposites attract indeed but they usually don’t last. Most of the times, when the passion ends opposites start fighting –a lot –  and they make each other miserable for no reason. Since the intense lust -that they experienced in the beginning – has disappeared, no one finds tense sexy anymore.

-You feel that your partner always thinks in a selfish way. Unfortunately a selfish and non giver person in not the best partner for a long lasting relationship. We are all selfish but we should not think that for our own good it’s all right to do something bad to our partner or to create a negative atmosphere into the relationship.

Instead of an epilogue

Whether if you decide to remain with someone or not, try to remember that every ending is a new beginning and every beginning is a new chance to learn something new. Don’t be afraid to stay and fight. Don’t be afraid to rebel and start something completely new from the point you are right now. Even if you are afraid, don’t forget that you can always do something to improve your life conditions.

Always remember that you own only yourself and this is the first one to love and respect before anyone else. If you keep in mind that you will be able to be good partners and your relationships will be not perfect but qualitative and appreciable.

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