Ways to “touch” love

In Leo Buscaglia’s book “Love” it’s mentioned that love is something that is taught, learned and built slowly. Human-beings are not born knowing how to love others and actually it happens the exact opposite thing: all of us were born selfish and egocentric. If you notice a human being in the age of 1 or 2 years old you will see his/her need to have all the attention and love for himself/herself. As time passes and a child gets older he/she will learn how to share, to give, to love. The way to love never ends. Even in our adulthood we don’t stop to be “babies” that want all the love for ourselves while we simultaneously fight to learn how to share ourselves, our lives, our emotions.

Is there something that could block all this way to love? According to some health mental specialists one of the greatest obstacles to love is lack of experience and knowledge of love. In other words human-beings don’t love enough, not necessarily because we don’t want to but maybe due to the fact we don’t know how to love. We don’t know how to create experiences of love, we don’t know how to give ourselves to others. Moreover, we often believe that loving someone is a difficult and demanding procedure and we forget that because of love we could experience great moments of pleasure and happiness. If there is someone close to us who could frequently remind us that love keeps us alive and give us ideas of how we could love then maybe all of us we could be better in loving.

Notes from “Love” by Leo Buscaglia

Leo Buscaglia is the writer of the really famous book “Living, Loving and Learning” and many other books of psychology and philosophy. During his life he tried to live with boldness, consciousness and love for life and people, exactly as he was teaching to others. Many people read his books nowadays as they consider them as useful guides of happiness and self-improvement. In his book titled “Love” he goals to analyze the nature of love in every possible way: love as an emotion, love as a cognitive phenomenon, love as a personal and social need, love as a mimicking action. Here there are some notes I kept during my reading:

Tips to rock exams!

All of us at least once in our lives we were asked to give some exams or we are about to give an exam in the near future. Now, imagine that you have to study hard, to make clear and understandable what you read and then to keep in your mind all the necessary stuff in order to write as better as you can in the final exam. How difficult can be our preparation for an exam in order to have a positive final result? The right preparation is based on some factors that are analysed below.

Notes from Jorge Bucay’s book “Let me tell you a story”

Jorge Bucay is a well-known doctor and psychotherapist who has written dozens of books regarding self-knowledge, philosophy and psychology. “Let me tell you a story” is one of his most famous and read books. It is consisted of a series of beautiful stories of folk wisdom and philosophical thought. While I was reading it I kept some notes that I want to share with you.

What I will be when I grow up?

Since we remember ourselves as kids we can recall a lot of people around us asking us “What you will be when you grow up?”. We were giving different answers such as a policeman, a doctor, a florist, a writer depending on the age we were, the tastes and the influences of those phases. After some age we were those who were asking ourselves “What I will be when I grow up?”. For every human being this decision is unique and its finalization depends on various factors (e.g. salary, professional status, easy professional settlement, creativity and flexibility into the professional environment, cost of studies or duration of studying to a college). Everyone based on their dreams, ambitions and the way they fantasize their future they are asked to make the best decision. But what someone should remember before and after this big decision?

Notes from Jorge Bucay’s book “From self-esteem to egotism”

Jorge Bucay is a really well-known psychotherapist but above all a really popular writer that his books are bought by millions of people around the world. A friend recently lent me a book by Bucay titled “From self-esteem to egotism”. He told me that it was a great book and I should definitely read it. I did and while I was “processing” book’s information I was writing down some notes. Here they are:

– Egotism means love for my ego. Some people believe that whether someone loves a lot himself/herself he/she cannot love enough other people. This cannot be true since nowadays we know that first we should learn loving ourselves and then others. The reasons vary why someone may not have strong emotions for others, but rarely is because of egotism. Love for other people comes from our ability and knowledge of love that we already have for ourselves.

– Someone who says that loves a lot other people but loves less himself/herself, he/she simply lies. None are capable to love other people when they don’t love themselves.

– Selfish is a person that prefers himself/herself than others. What is wrong with that?

– Adult love could come up when someone stops focusing on his/her own needs and starts giving with happiness to a person he/she loves.

Is there a selfless love?

The question if there is selfless love seems similar to the question if there are selfless good actions. The answer to both questions is negative but I am sure that this is not the first time you get informed about it. First of all, I think that a lot of us out there have watched the “Friends” episode titled “Selfless good seed”. In this episode Phoebe tries her best in order to prove to her friends that unconditional good acts exist and could be done. What she finds out in the end? Well before we reach this point let’s watch (again) this hilarious episode!

But why there are not unconditional selfless actions? Why there is not selfless love? And in the end what means selfless? It’s an adjective frequently used but actually it’s so difficult to exist in our lives.

Waiting for the right moment

Most of us have said many times phrases like “I am waiting for the right moment”. We usually believe that there is a perfect moment for something to happen in our lives or for us to do something that we kept postponing it for a long time. But are there right moments? Should we wait for ideal conditions before we act?

Certainly all moments and conditions are not same. Sometimes a thing could seem really easy and some other times could seem extremely difficult. How much difficulty seems to be raised or decreased based on our mood or our personal view? Based on our feelings and thoughts difficult task sometimes could seem doable while simple tasks could seem impossible. Can we be active no matter what are the current conditions?

The real dilemmas in our lives

Many of us often keep torturing ourselves with questions like: “What would have happened if that day I had chosen this instead of that?”. Usually we wonder about stuff in specific periods of our lives when we are not pleased with one or more situations/conditions/factors and we seek for two elements: someone to blame and a way to fix our problem.

When we are looking for someone to blame, things are kind of simple: Either we blame ourselves or someone else. Both could happen frequently. When we search for a way to improve a situation then two things could happen: Either we try with knowledge we have to change negative conditions or we start looking for an alternative scenario to follow it (if it is too difficult to change a current situation that bothers us). In case of searching for an alternative option we could easily lose our valuable focus on the real subject and start wondering how we came to this point and if we had to make anything different in the past to avoid current results. And by this moment we see the big “trap” that we could easily fall into it. When we begin wondering what we could possibly do better in the past, we automatically create a pseudo-dilemma and we set a question that rationally it cannot be answered. Let’s see why.

Benefits of traveling

Being a traveler makes me often wonder what is that I like the most regarding being on the road and going to find and discover different places. From my experience and with a little help of some popular articles I can give you today the benefits I see someone gets by traveling in unknown places.